It’s easy to let our phones get in the way of our relationships. Digital boundaries and relationship health go hand in hand. Screen time, social media, and what we do online can either bring us closer or push us apart. The key is to use technology in a smart way so it helps, not hurts, your connection.
1. Digital Boundaries at Home
Your phone can feel like a part of you, but it can also make you feel far away from your partner, even when you’re in the same room. Here’s how to create better digital boundaries at home:
- Put phones away. Make some times or places a “no-phone zone.” This could be at the dinner table, in the bedroom, or on a special date night. When you put your phone down, you’re telling your partner they are the most important thing.
- Set limits. Talk about how much screen time feels right for both of you. You might decide to put your phones away an hour before bed.
- Use screens together. Not all screen time is bad. You can use your phones to connect, too. Watch a movie together, play a game, or video chat with family. This turns a solo activity into a shared one.
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2. Digital Boundaries on Social Media
Social media can cause problems for couples. It’s important to talk about how you’ll use it so there are no misunderstandings. This is a key part of digital boundaries and relationship health.
- Talk about what you share. Decide what you’re both okay with sharing about your relationship online. Are you happy to post about being a couple? Are some moments just for the two of you? Talking about this early can save you from hurt feelings later.
- Be clear about who you talk to. Talk about what kind of online chats with other people are okay. Are you comfortable with your partner messaging exes? A simple rule can be to only talk to people you would talk to in front of each other.
- Stop comparing. What you see online is often just the best parts of someone’s life. Don’t compare your relationship to the “perfect” ones you see on social media. Your real connection is what truly matters.
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Talking and Protecting Your Connection
To set good digital boundaries, you have to be able to talk about your feelings. You need to tell your partner what makes you feel disconnected.
- Use “I feel” statements. Instead of saying, “You’re always on your phone,” try, “I feel sad when we’re together and you’re on your phone.” This shares how you feel without blaming them. For more tips on communication, you can read this article about using “I feel” statements in relationships.
- Trust each other. A healthy relationship doesn’t need you to check your partner’s phone. If you feel the need to, it’s a sign of a bigger problem that you should talk about.
- Protect your privacy. A good partnership is built on respect. This includes respecting each other’s private space, even online.
Ultimately, your phone is just a tool. When you use it with care, it can make your life better. But if you’re not careful, it can hurt your relationship. By setting clear digital boundaries, you make sure your connection with your partner is the most important thing in a world full of beeps and screens. For more information on the link between phone use and relationships, you can read this article from The Gottman Institute.
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